The angel with no feathers.

When I was a freshman in high school, I was given an assignment to make an autobiography about my life.  Ten texts, MLA Style, 20% of our grade . At any age this seems a daunting task, but as a freshman in high school?  "What, Mrs. Burns, are you thinking? How the hell do you expect us to write ten pieces about our life as only a freshman!" I wanted to scream.  But years later I remain impressed with myself at what I wrote: as no stranger to love and loss, I titled my Autobiography Love is to Lose as Life is to Breath. I don't think I could even come up with a title as witty as that now. It's even hard to come up with a creative introduction into this heavy subject:

On the 30th of October, my Japanese roommate took his own life. I will not go into any details in this blog, but all I will say is that nobody has an explanation. If you want to know anything ask, but it is unlikely that I will go into many details in order to respect this situation.  I am writing this let people know what's happening, offer my Japan community my interpretation of this situation so far, and of course to reflect.

First off I am fine. Though the reality of things come in waves there are people in the community effected far more than I am. I'm finding that I have outlets in Japan if I need them, (including my dance circle who told me today "don't be afraid to come to us. We aren't like friends, we are like family." in English with a heavy Japanese accent.). There are also friends and family back home who I've talked to, friends here in Japan that I've made, Japanese staff, and the Nagoya Koryu Kaikan residents.

Like I said, I am no stranger to love and loss. When I was young, I lost my brother and my grandfather. This has been something that has effected my mentality throughout my whole life, but it has made me stronger and has taught me various lessons in my life.

The biggest lesson that I have ever learned through these events actually happened just recently. In either Japanese, or Buddhist culture, (I'm not sure which as my family is both, and I often get them confused), there are anniversaries of a persons death in certain years after a persons passing. Just a few years ago, it was one of those anniversaries for my grandfather.

The Buddhist reverend came came and did all of the things I expected. My family and I sat in my Grandmothers basement. Two sections on each side, one path in the middle leading to the Butsudan. The reverend chanted the Juseige, said namandabu at least four times, hit the bell at least three times, and we all said namuamidabutsu while the Ojuzu were wrapped around our hands and gave our heads a slight bow.

But then came the "Dharma talk" as the reverends always call this. First he said "death is sad."

"What the hell? Seriously, it's sad? Really?" I sort of thought to my self.

but then he said something that really surprised me.

"Sadness is a gift."

What? Really? I was surprised, びっくりしました。

"Sadness is a gift" He continued, "because it shows our ability to love a person. It shows us how human we are, and it proves that we actually loved the person we lost.  It is a sign of all of the memories that we have of the person. All of the good times, all of the bad times, and even the times where there isn't much emotion. The sadness that we feel is a gift. The longer, and deeper the sadness, the longer and deeper the love that we truly felt for that person."

These words will remain with me forever.

Though I only knew Picasso for a couple of months I do feel a sense of sadness. It's hard knowing that this thing happened in the room just next to mine, and it's hard thinking about a lot of things.  But there are people here that have a deeper, longer sadness for Picasso. I hope you read this, because even after many years of my grandfather passing away, this gave me a new sensation of relief somehow.

We will always have to love and lose people in our lives. That is simply how it works... No one has to deal with this alone. The hard thing about this is not knowing enough Japanese to transcend this communication barrier to help those that are having an even harder time with this.

The community has been greatly impacted, and there is a sense of sadness, and community here.

 To those here, abroad, home, and above, you are loved.

DK

Sorry for the wait

First of all, I apologize for the long wait for my next blog post. I'm not very good at blogging obviously.  

These past few weeks have been fairly busy, and I'm starting to get used to daily life here. Listening to Japanese has become much easier, I know where the closest supermarket is, and getting around Nagoya via the underground subway system has become quite easy. Though it took some time, I think I'm getting there.

 

I am staying in the dorm, Nagoya Koryu Kaikan. There are about 30 to 40 students, about 1/4 of whom are Japanese, and the rest are study abroad students. Each room has 3 study abroad students, and 1 Japanese local student. They are further equipped with a Microwave, stove, and a Fridge/freezer, two sinks, two bathrooms, and a bath/shower. 

 My bedroom has a bed-futon, dresser, desk, dorm phone and a mirror. To my surprise, I had to buy the internet connection, and wifi is non existent on the school campus. This was odd to me. At my home school, University of Denver, you can get wifi anywhere you go on campus. However, I guess I'll have to do without this luxury for my time here. 

Also, the school provides access to the gym, and free laundry facilities. There are three or four cafeteria's on campus, and prices run about 300-400 Yen per meal. I've eaten here for lunch on most days; for breakfast I usually eat either toast or rice, and for dinner I usually go out and occasionally cook.  I plan to cook more to avoid unnecessary spending, so if you know good easy recipes that don't require an oven please let me know!

Since my last blog post, I've been on two field trips through my study abroad program, IES Nagoya

Kanazawa: 

Two weeks ago, the IES crew went to Kanazawa. There we stayed at another Japanese Inn. Here they had three types of onsen. An indoor onsen, outdoor onsen, and outdoor Male/Female onsen. For some reason, the time at this Inn reminded me of my grandfather. I used to remember him taking extremely hot bath's and enjoying time with his friends. I don't think he did these things at the same time, but I  did. As odd as it might sound, being in the public bath and having post festivities was a very reflective time for me. 

Aside from the Japanese Inn, we got to visit a Japanese Garden, Kanazawa castle, and make Japanese sweets.My time in Kanazawa was beautiful.  

Sound of Music:

IES Nagoya took us on a field trip to see the Sound of Music in a theater near Nagoya Station. I've never seen the musical or movie in English, so it was a little difficult to keep up with the plot in Japanese. However, I think I got the gist of it. I did, however, recognize some of the songs they sang by their tune. The lyrics were all in Japanese, so it was a little funny hearing the Japanese versions of familiar songs. The production was impressive, though. The scenery was beautiful as was the singing. I felt embraced  by the ambiance. 

As far as classes go, I'm taking Chinese Ink painting, Woodblock printing, Japanese culture, Japanese religions, Japanese reading/writing 300  and Japanese communications 300.  I was upset when I got placed into the 300 level Japanese classes. I've taken 2 years of Japanese, and it was all for nothing.  But, looking at the positive aspects there are details in speaking and writing that I miss. Hence, taking the lower class just means I get a stronger base of the language, and I can still study the book for the 400 level class while I cover what I already know.

My other classes are all very interesting, and I'm excited to see how much I learn throughout the semester. 

It has been a bit hard not having a good outlet in Japan. At home, it's easy to find your close friends. People are only a call or a visit away, but in Japan, those people you've built those relationships with aren't as easily accessible. I've made friends here, though, and I suppose that type of trust and "ease of access" come in time. I'm sure we are all going through the same feelings too. 

However, there are those friends in Japan that have reached out to me, and I the same, so thank you! :)

I'm also finding that I want to dance all the time here. It sounds goofy right? I think it's because dancing is my outlet a lot of the times, and I simply haven't been myself these past few weeks as I'm trying to adjust. Dancing is the way I get things out, and I'm often leaking out spurts of dancing waiting at the bus station, or walking to the supermarket. People probably think I'm hella weird. But whatever.

Fashion is also crazy here! Everyone looks very up to date, and it makes me wish I would have brought better clothes with me. I read and was told that being individualistic was frowned upon in Japanese society, and hence I should act and behave accordingly. I've always been a highly individualistic person, but I figured since I'm here I'd follow everyones advice, so I brought pretty plain clothes. WRONG.. First of all, you should always be yourself, and be an individual. Frankly, it was stupid of me to ever think otherwise. Second, everyone in Japan dresses to impress. It's all good, though, there are plenty of shops here in Nagoya, and all of which have clothes more fashionable than any stores back in the US.  

Yeah, that's most everything I think. Due to the length of time it's been , I'm probably missing stuff, and per usual I'm too lazy to go back and edit my turrible english.

Much love to those effected by the floods in my hometown.

Also you can see pictures of my trip on my facebook. I'll post up some on the blog if people are interested.

Till next time, Peace and much love to you. 

上には上がある

上には上がある:
This is a japanese saying, there is always someone above you:

I'm not going to lie, the last few days have been a little difficult. I've transition  into my new dorm, where Japanese is mainly supposed to be spoken, and it is the only language the faculty/staff speak. Of course this was expected, however, I'm finding that my Japanese is not enough. I've mostly forgotten most of the grammar, words, and kanji I've learned in the past, and it's even harder to put the things I do know into conversation.

Often times my peers know exactly what's going on, and I have no idea. Because I don't understand, it becomes harder to connect with people. Then I begin to feel really stupid, adding to that loss of connection.

However, I know that there will always be someone better than me in Japanese, and this is a feeling that will become minimal, but not completely surpass. This non-understanding is giving me the determination to meet my challenge with my effort and I know that this feeling is normal under these intensive circumstances. Like anything, confidence is key. I remember a single moment in dancing that I truly felt better; non-basic. I think that moment will come sometime for Japanese.


I feel that in order to truly become better at Japanese, I need to be in Japan for at least the year. If my schedule for my major requirements and if finances allow I will try to do this. We will see.

Otherwise, everyday I'm discovering new things about Japan and I can feel beauty within myself, and all around me. While I don't always express this considering my challenging last couple days, my enjoyment is still there. I can't wait to see my progress as I look back to these blog posts, and see the further beauty which I've yet to discover. And I know that things will get better.

Peace for now.

PS Sorry for the choppy english.

Week 1

It has been the first four days in Japan, and I've already done so much.

I left Denver, took a flight to Tokyo, and from Tokyo went to Nagoya.  In Nagoya I was met by my IES Nagoya program coordinator, and about nine other students taking part in the study abroad program. We ran to the train, went to our hotel in Nagoya, and after about 24hours I slept.

The next day, we learned to utilize the train system in Nagoya, and went to a another hotel in Inuyama, "dog mountain), which is right next to Inuyama castle.
This is what I did for the days in Inuyama:
We got to tour Inuyama castle, and learn about the surrounding area's history from local Japanese residents.

We got to watch cormant fishing, which is a traditional fishing method where a fisherman controls up to 10 birds. The birds swim in the water, and "eat" the fish. The fisherman brings the bird into the boat, and the bird spits it back out.  

Before cormant fishing, we had dinner on the boat. This is the food, and the view!

Inuyama castle:

I've also been sleeping in the Japanese inn on a futon in a tatami room, and have been to the onsen in the inn every night. Awesome!!

Otherwise, my experience has been very interesting. I've realized that as a Japanese American, my experience will be a very different experience than other peoples study abroad experience.  I look Japanese, and therefore local residents in Japan think I'm Japanese. Often times people speak Japanese to me, however, I have a difficult time understanding and responding. Today while I was out with other study abroad students, I was immediately thought of as the "translator", however my Japanese is either as good or worse than my peers. They know I'm not a local Japanese resident as soon as I open my mouth. However, I think that being here will change the way I think of myself. Here I look Japanese but I'm American. In American, I look Japanese, but I'm American. The next few months will be definitive.  

There has been al lot more that I've done, but honestly, it's hard to put it all in this blog without going overboard in details. For the sake of time, I'm not going to write it all.  Ask me if you want to know more. 

I'll attempt to blog more next week, and put up some art. 

Peace. 

Intro

Artistic piece: Tha Rap Game

My name is Daniel Kim. I am a 20 year old Junior at the University of Denver. I am also half japanese and half Korean by ancestory. In just a few days, I will be going to Japan to begin my experience as a study abroad student through the study abroad program IES Nagoya. This study abroad program is designed as a language intensive program for those seeking to learn Japanese. I chose this program because I've heard it is the best one to improve my Japanese skills, and learn about my ancestors culture, which has been numbed throughout my families generations of being in the United States. 

 In order to appease those interested in my journey, to help prepare future study abroad students, and most importantly as a reflection of my feelings, experiences, and growth abroad I've created this blog. 

Thus far preparation has been a strenuous task. I've never traveled out of the country before and hence I'm unsure of the things I need to do. Fortunately, with advice from friends and family I at least have an illusion of "being ready"

So far, I've packed:

Four pairs of pants

Two weeks worth of socks and underwear, 

Seven T-shirts,

Three long sleeve shirts

Toothpaste/toothbrush

Hair gel

Travel sized shampoo/conditioner

Electronic razor

Five Pairs of Shoes, (dress shoes, athletic shoes, slip on shoes, x2walking shoes)

Four Souvenirs (for roommates)

Four notebooks for school

Index cards

Pens/pencils/erasers

Sketchbook 

Paint markers, (Carry on if I'm told they are allowed)

Ipod/headphones

Snacks

Passport/visa

Study books for japanese.

Camera

Empty water bottle

Computer

$$$

Diabetes supplies, (I am diabetic)

I'm sure there is other stuff I'm forgetting.

While packing has been a difficult task, there have been other obstacles. These include figuring out how to safely take my medical supplies to Japan, how to obtain cell phone service while I'm out of the country, and financial expenses. The latter two obstacles I believe need to be ultimately figured out while I'm abroad. 

Throughout the remainder of this blog I will write about my weekly happenings, post, post a weekly artistic piece I've done, (if I have time), and probably blog some other random hip hop/ music things. 

Enjoy!

...Also

Above is  a picture I did this summer. I'm a big hip hop advocate, and believe that the rap game is different than what hip hop is...

Why did I choose Reflection eternal as my title? Deceased Japanese producer, Nujabes, created an amazing song by this title. I thought Reflection eternal would be an appropriate title as Nujabes is a legendary producer from the country I'm going to, and the title coincides with my purpose of this blog. As an eternal reflection that I, and others can refer to. 

Nujabes, Reflection eternal

Also see the VMA's? JT knows wassup. probably one of the only people I'd say "Sweet combover" to with no sarcasm whatsoever.